A hallmark of success in one’s life may be the ability to sustain a long-term relationship. People in lasting relationships tend to live longer and stay healthier, and they report that they experience more happiness in life.

Maybe the most important aspect of living within a successful permanent relationship is that a person not only feels loved, but is also able to share love with somebody else. Sharing life with a loving partner allows us to experience trust, nurturance, and a feeling of belonging.

Our society today seems to lack the structural supports that in the past made staying in a permanent relationship easier. The divorce rate has never been higher
than it has been for the past couple of decades. We no longer live in a world of the immediate community composed of people with whom we have daily contact… and these are the people who usually had strong social expectations that a couple would stay together for all time.

Let’s look at few helpful techniques used by many couples who have managed to attain successful long term relationships.

Keep things happy: Share your humor and lightheartedness with your partner. One of the healthiest things, physically and emotionally, any of us can do is to laugh, and to laugh often.

Keep things polite: One of the first signs that the relationship may be in trouble occurs when the partners show a lack of respect for each other. Successful
relationships focus on reducing negativity, and this can include criticisms, mockery, name-calling, yelling, insults and other demeaning behaviors.

Don’t expect your partner to fill up the holes in your life: You are responsible for your own life. A relationship in trouble is often characterized by complaints from one party that the other is not caring enough, doesn’’t show enough love, isn’’t strong enough, isn’’t responsible enough, and so on. When we feel deficient in some aspect of our own lives, we may put pressure on our partner to be different somehow. However, it is far more productive to look internally at our own issues, to come alive with life’s challenges, and to gain a sense of our own competence and empowerment, rather than to look to our partner to “Save us”.

Partners in a stable relationship are able to differentiate between the issues that truly need to be worked on and those that should be accepted and tolerated. The real secret to success in a long-term relationship is not so much in find the right partner, but in being one.

A successful relationship takes a lot of work, insight and commitment—and if it works over the long haul the rewards are priceless.

I have a few spots still available for July coaching. Call me right now: 949-721-5732

Or you can email me at MotyKoppes@cox.net. You deserve more in your life, and you can start going for it today!

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