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Success or
failure is in our own hands. No one arrives in life perfect.
The way we avoid
derailing ourselves is by seeing through the illusions we create,
knowing our shortcomings and recognizing the need to change or manage around
our flaws.
Studies have shown that there are four main reasons people don’t
attain personal power, or achieve less than the full measure of success
they desire.
It is not because they lack intellectual horsepower.
It is not because they fail to master the skills required for the job,
not because of some technical deficiency.
It is because of certain human tendencies, such as:
1. Arrogance:
This insensitivity to other people works against life-affirming
cooperation. Arrogance is a subtle form of emotional or social suicide.
At the very least, its effects are similar.
How to overcome
Arrogance:
- Listen better.
- Empathize with others.
- Find something – anything – useful
in what others say.
2.
Political game-Playing:
Choosing the side of an issue
by looking at who is on the other side.
How to stop
political game-playing:
- Be aware of what you say to others and
don’t use phrases like, “It doesn’t really
matter to me,” and “Do whatever you want…”
- When you speak, make eye contact.
- Don’t shrug your shoulders.
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you’re reading?
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contact me for a personal consultation!****
3.
Aggression: It is not the
fundamental basis of personal power. People with aggressive behavior
risk paying a high price. The cost is measured in terms of damaged egos
and the inability to create and sustain mutually fulfilling social,
family, and business relationships.
Contrary to
appearances, the behavior of aggressive people does not come out of
supreme confidence in a compelling inner strength. Rather, it arises
from a secret fear that they have none and that if they let up they
will lose control.
If aggression is the poison, the antidote is assertiveness.
Assertiveness means a way of behaving that permits us to feel good
about ourselves and others, and get what we want out of life.
Three ways to assert yourself:
- Describe the offending behavior as specifically
as you can without suggesting a motive or character fault, the thing
they have done that violates your personal interests.
- Describe how their actions make you feel in
ways that are not judgment, sarcastic, exaggerated, or abusive.
- Describe, as briefly as you can without
harping, the consequences.
4.
Unmanaged anger. Instead of
blowing your anger off at the appropriate time and
being done with it, we let it build up a head of steam.
Consequently we end up making bad decisions simply to get past the
problems.
Far more damaging to the relationship is the unmanaged anger.
Controlled anger focuses on events (ie: what happened), and has a
beginning, middle, and an end.
Unmanaged anger focuses on people, and produces devastating wounds
intended to call a person’s self-worth into question.
How to stop unmanaged anger:
- Express anger when it happens and then let it
go.
- Focus your anger on events, not people.
I help you to find the key to personal power and confidence in order to
condition your mind to deal successfully with others and feel and act
powerful and confident.
Of course, this newsletter is just the beginning! To learn more
about how you can live life to your fullest potential just click here
to visit my website.
I have a few spots still available for February coaching. Call me
right now: 949-721-5732
Or you can email me at MotyKoppes@cox.net.
You deserve more in your life, and you can start going for it today!
Warmest regards,
Moty Koppes, MA, PCC
Personal/Professional Development Coach
www.coachmoty.com
Never limit yourself because of others' limited imagination; never
limit others because of your own limited imagination."
PS – Pass along this newsletter to a five
friends!
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