How to Avoid Failure and Achieve Success
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Success or failure is in our own hands. No one arrives in life perfect.

The way we avoid derailing ourselves is by seeing through the illusions we create, knowing our shortcomings and recognizing the need to change or manage around our flaws.

Studies have shown that there are four main reasons people don’t attain personal power, or achieve less than the full measure of success they desire.
It is not because they lack intellectual horsepower.
It is not because they fail to master the skills required for the job, not because of some technical deficiency.
It is because of certain human tendencies, such as:

Arrogance:
This insensitivity to other people works against life-affirming cooperation. Arrogance is a subtle form of emotional or social suicide. At the very least, its effects are similar.

How to overcome Arrogance:

  • Listen better.
  • Empathize with others.
  • Find something – anything – useful
    in what others say.

Political game-Playing:

Choosing the side of an issue by looking at who is on the other side.

How to stop political game-playing:

  • Be aware of what you say to others and don’t use phrases like, “It doesn’t really matter to me,” and “Do whatever you want…”
  • When you speak, make eye contact.
  • Don’t shrug your shoulders.

Aggression: It is not the fundamental basis of personal power. People with aggressive behavior risk paying a high price. The cost is measured in terms of damaged egos and the inability to create and sustain mutually fulfilling social, family, and business relationships.

Contrary to appearances, the behavior of aggressive people does not come out of supreme confidence in a compelling inner strength. Rather, it arises from a secret fear that they have none and that if they let up they will lose control.

If aggression is the poison, the antidote is assertiveness. Assertiveness means a way of behaving that permits us to feel good about ourselves and others, and get what we want out of life. Three ways to assert yourself:

  • Describe the offending behavior as specifically as you can without suggesting a motive or character fault, the thing they have done that violates your personal interests.
  • Describe how their actions make you feel in ways that are not judgment, sarcastic, exaggerated, or abusive.
  • Describe, as briefly as you can without harping, the consequences.

Unmanaged anger. Instead of blowing your anger off at the appropriate time and being done with it, we let it build up a head of  steam. Consequently we end up making bad decisions simply to get past the problems.

Far more damaging to the relationship is the unmanaged anger.

Controlled anger focuses on events (ie: what happened), and has a beginning, middle, and an end. Unmanaged anger focuses on people, and produces devastating wounds intended to call a person’s self-worth into question.

How to stop unmanaged anger:

  • Express anger when it happens and then let it go.
  • Focus your anger on events, not people.

I help you to find the key to personal power and confidence in order to condition your mind to deal successfully with others and feel and act powerful and confident.

Of course, this newsletter is just the beginning! Call me right now: 949-721-5732
Or you can email me at MotyKoppes@cox.net.
You deserve more in your life, and you can start going for it today!

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Moty Koppes is a certified master coach providing you with personal development, life coaching, relationship coaching, communication skills, personal power, life balance, career coaching, productivity enhancement, executive coaching and stress reduction in Newport Beach, Orange County, Southern California.